Saturday Ljundberg returns to Qwest to challenge his former teammates on the Xbox Pitch for the first time since his departure earlier this Month!  Season ticket holders are probably smurking a bit at the fact that Ljunberg is the player featured on the this weekends tickets as the Sounder host the Chicago Fire.

Look!

NOW That's Some Timing!

Jimmy Fallon started using trending topics a while ago on his Late Night Show and now the idea is following him to the 62nd Prime Time Emmy’s that airs this Sunday on NBC.   You can tweet your description of one of this years presenters, hopefully Jimmy will use it and everyone will know that YOU @smartparrotmonkeybars has arrived!  You will be a star!  Everyone will follow you now!   You’ll have to block and unfollow so many less fortunate tweeps… the choices of fame and fortune will be your new burden.  Click here to try your luck! 

Or you won’t get picked… or you’ll probably forget to watch, so if you were picked you’d have no idea.   Skip the Simpsons for the Emmy’s? 

At least Jimm Fallon is there to shine up that bruised apple!

ROCK'N Fallon- Tweet, Tweet…Tweet, tweetilally Deet.

Hasselhoff , The Situation and Michael Bolton will soon douche it out on stage for the crown of best Dancer that is least likely to be called a Star.

WTF?  Who was too busy to step in next season… Can we get that old astronaut to come back?

I am DUMB

Solutions:

1.  GIANT GAME OF EGG TOSS!

2. HAND OUT FREE EGGS FOR HALLOWEEN (for egging houses duh!)

3. BLOW OUT THE YOKES AND DECORATE THEM AS ORNAMENTS

4. MAKE A GIANT OMELET THAT CAN SOAK UP OIL.  (Eggs are sponge-like)

5. USE FOR EGG SEPARATING CLASSES

6. USE FOR ASPIRING CHEFS TO PRACTICE CRACKING EGGS WITH ONE HAND?

7. SET A WORLD RECORD FOR LARGEST QUICHE?

8. TRY AND FRY THEM ON YOUR FOREHEAD

9. SCIENCE CLASS (the old egg drop experiment… you remember)

10. CHEMICAL WARFARE…”THE HALF BILLION ROTTEN EGG BOMB”

***Once they figure this out and get them chickens (hens) back on the production lines there won’t be any time off till Turkey DAY!  ‘Merica needs our Deviled Eggs Damn it!

I want some eggs, right NOW

Looks as if The Donald wants “get in yer belly”.  Back in 07 he launched signature steaks, then Trump Ice last February ( a water that since has seemed to have vanished from the world) he also brings you a fine Vodka… and wait, what is this???   Trump Tea?   Mr. Trump, oh how can I be like you?   What??  I should eat and drink like you?

I would love to see The Donald eat or use any of his products.   He is a business man.   He is slinging whatever he can hock with the lowest cost to him.  I think I will save my $$$.

Who knew that the writers of SNL were so smart?   Remember when they made fun of Jersey Shore with the Clip below?   Referring to “Snooki”  Niclole Polizzi as Garfield the cat, because she is orange and Italians “love Lasagna” like Garfield.

More Orange Feline troubles for poor “Snooki” who tried to trademark her name … it appears that a Childrens Book was published in 2003 about “Snooky” the Cat… also orange but not living on the Jersey Shore….”Adventures of Snooky …Under the Sea must have been a best seller.   The Author later pennied SARS: Down but still a Threat Volume 3.  Who the hell writes childrens books as well as  SARS books?  That’s some Range!

Nearing the 20th minute Levesque finds the far post! Sorry no photo…trust me its pretty!

So I am trying to bring back my memories from Deck The Hall Ball 2008 or their show at the Key Arena the following spring… and countless other times I have been witness to The Killers… but I just don’t remember if the band ever covered this song live.  Regardless, Brandon Flowers is doing it almost every night of his current tour for “Flamingo”… and last night was no exception at the Troubadour.  Enjoy!

It’s Jackass 3D.  The movie will be opening nationwide in October and you bet we will have some passes to The End’s Screening.  I just hope they don’t send all the annoying stink bombs and airfresheners that smelled like Skunk Pee again.   Here is the trailer… get excited!!!  You can finally see a guy get whacked in the nuts…in 3…D!

Since  Sum 41 isn’t going to make the show…this is now the band you must show up early for.   They were so great!!!  Check out a couple  videos from GREEN JELLY (formerly Green Jello, but were when the jiggly kid snack complained with their lawyers the band was forced to change their name)  But, not without including the phrase  “Green Jello Sucks” into one of their songs.   I hope you get to enjoy the self proclaimed “Sh#tiest Band in The World”… and please tell me how it was… at www.facebook.com/joe.hammill          twitter @hammiljoe  

Obey The Cow God

Three Little Pigs